kinda worried about whether i'll do anything at all next yr. 'cos i'm partly doing stuff now b/c i have to (well i don't HAVE to...). and i kinda don't have motivation to do some other stuff...

today one of the ppl running for elections remembered my name. and the creamy cream of mushroom spilled in my backpack.

tomorrow: interview at 11

so, yesterday i met w/ the guy from i-teams. we talked about church support a lot. basically, i-teams (in canada anyway) works closely w/ churches and they want the church to be SENDING the person. they don't ask the church to provide all the financial support or anything, but they want the church to approve of the person going, send them, support them, receive them back. so that is problematic, 'cos at peoples most of the staff don't know me, at embassy i don't know them well (though i kinda know one of the ppl who headed up the global ministries committee but she just left last week to africa)..or, they don't know ME well :p ...and i don't go to emily's church anymore. though i could still ask these places. ANYWAY, the opportunity i saw was for the u.s. office, soooo the process might be diff. there. but after the meeting i was kinda thinking i shouldn't go w/ them. and in part of it he said something about the church knowing/saying your motives are good. when you question your own motives and that has to happen, this might not be what you should be doing.

when i got home i went online and saw something my (waterloo) pastor's brother posted. his family moved to bolivia in january and said if anyone wanted to volunteer, tell them. so i hastily sent an e-mail and he told me about the organization..which is catholic. i knew there was a possibility they weren't working w/ a missions agency and was open to going there, but if it's catholic that changes things...though it's not 100% crossed off my list. i was also thinking maybe i should go w/ them AFTER i'm done school (like for a year).

last night i was basically thinking i should stay here. but then i kinda wanted to go to t.o. and today i feel less certain about that and have been kinda thinking of going away. but i think w/ the motives i know i do have, for going away maybe i should go do the spanish edu. thing.

lisa thinks i should go. nadine said to go wherever i want 'cos if i'm trying to follow God He'll use me wherever.

i also got good news yesterday :p though i question my motives for that too...

i've also gotten myself in trouble again....

a little while ago i wanted to stay... well for a second i wanted to be w/ my parents. i have to talk to them, 'cos now i'm thinking of staying next summer if i'm not staying this summer...if something which i won't mention right now happens, it's more likely i'll do that. um...oh and if i don't lose my scholarship, that will complicate things.

since i've figured out how my window goes, maybe i got my good-smelling air freshener for nothing...it smells so good!

today (i think it was) i also realized: going away this summer would be wasting money. 'cos i'm gonna go away in a year anyway...well, not 100% sure, but...

yesterday i talked to my don (and kind of to his girlfriend) about worship music... and i think i met my don in my frosh week. i have to ask him.

i prayed for jenny's project and it's getting betterrrr. this past week there have been like two moments when i realized, faith, you prayed for this, it's gonna happen. (and then i kinda wish i had had this confidence when i was praying).

missing swing club again...

then i showered...and went to interpray. then i read, saw sarah w. in the slc. then i went to jessica's frinner.

frinner = free dinner. it was GREAT. it was big too -- 23 ppl came. into a townhouse. it didn't feel crowded though. those of us who got there sooner helped...the food was really good. jess cooked 'til 5 a.m. the night before! i also saw derek for the 1st time all term.

frinners are something we have at our fellowship based on how in the Bible ppl used to connect over eating. it's chilling and eating :) and non-fellowship friends can come. then i went home and did my spanish homework. I ACTUALLY UNDERSTOOD THE STORY..most of it.

friday
that's today...kinda. um..read, powerpointed, went to fellowship for prayer meeting. set-up wasn't really going well and i think elisha was stressed...anyway i ended up at prayer meeting, where, guess what, we prayed. then went to large group..which overall was good. laurier's staff wkr came and talked. then we went exploratoring..well that was me, mike, james, melissa and denver. that was fun but tiring..then we sat in dc. then we sat in tim horton's. then me and james went w/ mike and his cs society friends to their office. we met a guy, who is kind of offensive [well he didn't bug me, but being w/ him everyday would be bad for me]...but it was interesting to see mike w/ css. yes and i left at 5 to 2 so i think i will kind of regret this tmw. PPL DO WORK IN MC AT FRIDAY NIGHT AT THAT TIME OF THE NIGHT.

the meeting
most of you just got a mass e-mail about the meeting. which is not actually a meeting, but it's not an interview...anyway on monday i'm meeting w/ a guy from int'l teams. at interpray i thought i should stay here. but then i didn't want to. maybe partly 'cos i didn't wanna waste the guy's time...

voting
do vote...those @ w'loo. feds.ca will have a link for you to vote. from what i understand co-op students can (ahem, sam, joanna, josh). this year we have Christians running...that shouldn't be the sole reason you vote for someone (though it'll probably be my reason, ha. but i'm confident he's competant, so...), but it's good to have ppl on student gov't and student council who'll consider how they can honour God. e.j. is running for prez and lawrence (i dunno him) is running for...something... :p